Monday, September 28, 2009

Counting Down....

It's Monday and I now have only 9 more radiation treatments to go. THAT is exciting. The End Day is Friday 10/9 --- that's the day everything ends - radiation ends, the chemo pump comes off, the picc line comes out....everything is over --- except the recovering. I feel like I'm really on the downhill slide but I know there is still more to go.

Tomorrow I have my last chemo infusion. I'm kinda frightened about that as the side effects were worse with the 2nd infusion and I don't know how I'll be able to handle even worse side effects. I'm just praying and hoping that it'll be tolerable and that I'll get through this treatment at least like the last one. Dr. Lee said I may even tolerate it better....but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Had a wonderful dinner with friends last night. We all met over at Elaine's new house and she cooked dinner for us. It was fabulous! Ann, Lisa, Jo Ann, Sylvia and Clint, Elaine, and Ken and I. Elaine even remembered to order a birthday cake for the August bday girls since that was the reason for the get-together. So much fun! I think I've said this before, but it is wonderful to have friends whom you've known for almost 20 years....it's really amazing.

Well, I went back over to Gardner Village after treatment today. I seem to love Gardner Village since I've been there like 4 times in 3 weeks. The halloween decorations are fantastic and the 'stuff' is great. I went to Pine Needles shop today....boy it's a good thing we didn't go in there when Cheryl and Donna came down ----- so many cute needlework items. I ended up buying a pattern .... but I could have bought more than just the one.

I have more crocheting to do....but it's hard to crochet when my head is always spinning and my stomach is always in knots. I need to get moving though if I'm going to finish Bethany's afghan and get Evie's afghan going and done before her birthday in February.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Almost "Hump Day"

Well - another week of treatment is finished. 3 down; 3 to go. Hump Day for chemo is Sunday, radiation hump day is Monday. I am excited to be mid-way through this experience...but thinking about future treatments is still somewhat frightening.

I had my 2nd chemo treatment this past Tuesday and I was very concerned that the side effects would be much worse than the first treatment. I was right and I was wrong. The side effects were definitely more pronounced this time around, but I haven't been laying on the couch all day every day dealing with them either.

I think the bigger issue for me this week is the effects of the radiation. Since they are radiating my esophagus and my stomach, there is now quite a bit of irritation. I am having trouble drinking water as it burns on the way down; I am starting to cough more, which I'm sure is from the irritation; I never really feel like eating...so I don't -- which isn't good. I have to find a way to eat better or else I'm gonna have to have IV nutrition. I'm pretty sure that will be pretty icky!

I'd say I'm looking forward to next week so that I can be on the mend, but since the most difficulty seems to be coming from the radiation I don't think I'll get much relief.

A little worried about the swine flu --- oops, sorry - the H1N1 virus. The vaccine isn't going to be out until early to mid October and my treatments are supposed to end on Oct 9th. I have to find out how concerned I will need to be about getting any kind of vaccine since my immune system will be compromised. The Dr said I may not have to get a flu shot...which I think would be awesome. I'm trying to stay away from crowded places. I only go to Sacrament Meetings on Sundays and don't stay for the other 2 hours of church. Ken says there are just too many kids and too many chances to get sick....so we go for the first hour and then get on home. I'm usually pretty 'done for' by then anyway. I usually end up with a pretty good headache and am in a down mood by the time Sunday afternoon rolls around.

I think I'm really beginning to learn some important things for my life going forward. I have been trying to keep my heart and mind open to what it is that Heavenly Father wants me to learn during this process. It's funny how some of the lessons begin in a very self-centered way and then, if I'm open and really want to learn, the lesson can enlarge from there. I'll have more to say on this later as I begin to make more sense of what I'm feeling and what I think I'm learning....stay tuned.

Almost time for bed...which is actually pretty funny since I've had about 2 hours of nap time today!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

9/12

Today is Saturday, 9/12.
Do you remember how you felt on 9/12/2001?
Do you remember the feeling of unity we all felt after the terrible attacks of 9/11? I wish we still had that.
Do you remember seeing the flag flying on every lawn and every house? I wish we still had that, too.
We will have our flags out (the American flag and our 'Don't Tread On Me' flag).
We had planned to be in Washington, DC for the 9/12 March on Washington, but this illness has derailed those plans. We will, however be there in spirit and we'll be watching on FoxNews as Glenn Beck covers the 'action'. The 9/12 Project is his project after all. You can go to the website --- www.the912project.com --- and join your voice to the hundreds of thousands already part of the group.

It has been an interesting week. Some really bad days this week with nausea and pain. I think we got it all figured out, tho, as far as what I need to do/not do, take/not take in order to feel okay most of the time. Having my Mom here with me during the week has been great, tho. Even though I know I drive her completely nuts, it's been nice to know someone is here helping me and caring about me.

Next week I get another chemo treatment - my 2nd of 3. I am anxious about what the side effects will be with the 2nd treatment. They say the side effects can grow with each treatment. So - not really looking forward to that --- but I am looking forward to having this tumor shrink and being just another milestone closer to getting better.

Mom and I built 3 construction paper chains this week. One chain is for my radiation treatments - only 20 left (I know that sounds like a lot - but I've already had 8 treatments). Another chain is for the chemo. Since I have chemo 24/7 in a pump, it's an everyday-until-October-13th chain. I have 32 days to go on that (including today). The last chain is for how many days until I can have a Dr. Pepper!!! I don't drink a lot of soda or a lot of caffeine...but I am craving a Dr. Pepper and carbonation isn't at all good on my stomach right now. On Ken's BDay (10/26) I am targeting to have a BIG Dr. Pepper!

We are also planning a couple of trips. I'd like to try to get down to Vegas during my 'recovery' period and see Terry Fator at the Mirage. I don't even care that it'll cost about $500 for rooms and tickets. Then we want to go down to Baton Rouge and take a side trip to Destin, FL in February or March. I could stand to hang out on the beach for a few days. If we can swing it, we might even try to get to Cancun!!!! Ken isn't a beach person...but he'd do it for me!!! And, we'll plan a trip to the Candian Rockies for the summer. If you've never been there, I highly recommend it!!!

Okay - on to College Football Saturday!!! Go Cougars! Geaux Tigers!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Cheese Fries

It's Saturday afternoon and Ken and I just stopped at the Training Table and had some cheese fries. I LOVE THEM! It's amazing that I can eat french fries (and dipping sauce) and have almost no issues after eating them....not so with just about any other food. Yesterday it was sweet potato fries at Rumbi -- another terrific treat!

I am so glad that a week(ish) of treatment is behind me. 4 days down, 4 days next week (because of the holiday on Monday) and then 4 weeks of 5-days of radiation treatments. I think the 5-day weeks will be difficult because there won't be as much recovery time on the weekends. BUT, I'd rather go ahead and get it over with....I think.

Yesterday was difficult because my stomach seems to be hurting more after 4 radiation treatments...but today I feel much better. I'm hoping to just keep feeling better and better as the weekend continues.

I have had more incidents of stomach upset as the week has gone on. Hard for me to tell whether it's the chemo, the radiation, or a combination of both. Dr's say that I should begin to feel better after this next week as the tumor begins to shrink. I'll be grateful for that...

Ken is home for the long weekend. He came home Thursday night and won't leave until Tuesday morning. It will be SO very nice to have him home for extra time this weekend. Like I've said before, everything - and I mean everything - seems better when Ken is home. I seem to be more emotional than normal...but I guess that's to be expected.

I have been telling Ken all the things I want us to do once I get better. I want to go dancing at least once/month. We never go dancing - we just don't have time. I want that to change. I want us to go to an LSU game every year and then spend a week in Destin. We love going to Baton Rouge, we love LSU, and we love Destin. Seems like a no brainer. But, again - we just don't always seem to have or make the time. I want that to change. I want to quit wasting time and quit squandering opportunities to enjoy my life. It really is too short.

Tonight is the BYU-Oklahoma game and then LSU-Washington! Yes, it is college football season and my husband is very happy. Our friends, Clint and Sylvia, are coming over to watch the games. We'll grill steaks and corn-on-the-cob and even grill some pineapple. I'll only be able to have a few bites....but I'm sure I'll eat just fine. It's always wonderful to have friends over to share dinner and football. Hopefully both games will be good and our teams will be victorious. It's not probable that BYU will beat Oklahoma...but it is possible -- and we'll hold on to that. LSU shouldn't have any problems with Washington - but I'd hate to jinx anything.

Geaux Tigers!!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

First Day of Treatment

Well, I've survived the first day of treatment....so far. I had chemo this morning and then went on to Radiation therapy. Didn't feel a thing at either appt. Today's radiation was longer than it will normally be as they had to be sure everything was lined up properly and the radiation was focused accurately. The treatment itself was only about 5 minutes long...

Tomorrow is another radiation treatment. I'll have 28 in all -- 27 remaining.

They say the cumulative effect of both the radiation and the chemo is what eventually wears you down...not looking forward to that at all!!!

So, I've been scoped, scanned, poked, prodded, mapped and tattooed. But, I am so glad things have finally started...that means I am closer to recovering. I'm looking forward to the holiday season to achieve full recovery from everything - chemo, radiation and surgery.

Ken and I are planning join my roommates from my freshman year at BYU for a reunion....a 30 year reunion!!!....in January of next year. We (the roommates) all met at Deseret Towers in the fall of 1979. Some days it seems like just yesterday. I was only 16 when we all met. I've seen Sharon and Marian recently and Laurie lives in our old ward in Sandy. I haven't seen LynAnn or Bonnie for ages! The other great thing is this reunion gives me something to look forward to...another positive for the future.

Been reading a whole lot, too. I am really enjoying the 2 most recent novels by Daniel Silva - 'Moscow Rules' and 'The Defector'. I highly recommend them both. Mom is reading 'Moscow Rules' now and seems to be really enjoying it. I have only 60 pages left of 'The Defector'. Ken is reading one of the earlier novels, 'The English Assassin'. We plan to buy all of his novels....luckily the older ones are in paperback.

Another great read is The Great and Terrible series by Chris Stewart. Deseret Book is having a sale on the 6-book set. If you haven't read this series, Ken and I highly recommend it!!!!

I have also started crocheting my niece, Bethany's afghan. I still have to finish putting the finishing touches on my niece, Kirstie's afghan, and my niece, Evie, wants an afghan as well. It looks like I have plenty to keep me busy. And, if I run out of things to do, my nephew, Jeremy, has picked out the afghan he wants as well.