I am so glad it is Friday...finally! What a week it has been. Ken will be home in about 3 hours and then I can actually relax from this week.
It has been a week of ups and downs for certain. Yesterday was especially tough for some reason...I just felt on the verge of tears the entire day. I think there are just so many unknowns still...and I don't deal with unknowns very well.
My Sister-in-Law came by yesterday which was the highlight of my day. She brought Kelsey's quilt that she had finished and came by with some of her friends that she met in Nauvoo. Thanks, Donna, for brightening my day!!!
I saw the Radiation Oncologist today....and he is wonderful!!!! How did we get so many terrific dr's in one area? We are blessed. Anyway, Dr. Lee was so kind and helpful and he didn't talk down to me like I didn't know what was going on --- he treated me like I knew exactly what was going on and I asked questions where I needed to. AND...he had answers. He didn'tneed to ask any other Dr about anything -- he knew the answers about the medications that would be in my chemo, how many sessions of radiation they were planning, when we'd begin, how long I'd need to recover after the radiation/chemo ended before I could have surgery....he was a veritable fountain of knowledge....and I loved it!!!!
I got tattooed today as well. 3 little purple freckles. Pretty sexy, huh? I wonder what Ken will think...
My big unknown at this point is how I will react to the chemo and radiation. That seems to be the big question mark for everyone. I have heard from every Dr that no two people react the same. Two people can have the same cancer and get the same chemo treatment and react differently. So here's to hoping that I'll handle it all so awesomely!!!
So.....I'm back to starting treatment on Tuesday rather than Monday....but I'm okay with that. Monday will be a tough enough day getting the picc line. Tuesday at 11:30a I start chemo and then 3:15p for the radiation. I'm ready!!!! (i think)
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday - 5 days and counting....
Okay - I start treatment on Monday, 8/31 and not on Tuesday, 9/1. That's good because I am really antsy to get things moving along. The sooner we get started, the sooner I get done.
I had a wonderful conversation with the Dr Monday evening. He is so wonderful - Dr Whisenant. Anyway, I had called about a Phase 3 trial going on up at Huntsman Cancer Institute to find out if I should be part of that or not and it turns out it isn't the right trial for me. But....Dr. W. said they just ended a trial last year that seemed to work at least as well as the conventional treatment if not better. At least, it worked better in the 5 patients they treated with it. I like it!
The difference in the treatments is the chemo. In the conventional treatment I would have chemo M-F the first week and then again 4 weeks later. In the NEW treatment, I have 24/7 chemo for all 6 weeks in lower doses which reduces the side effects. I'm all for reducing the side effects. So --- while I'm sure it still won't be easy, I'm looking forward to not having violent side effects.
I found out what a 'picc' line is yesterday and it about sent me into orbit. Okay, it did send me into orbit. I thought it was just a really cool, long-term IV. OH NO! It's a deep vein IV that threads to an artery near the heart! I about passed out! It's funny the things that send us over the edge. You'd think I'd be more freaked out about the chemo and radiation and not the IV.
I'm liking my short hair cut and I got the blonde put back in it last night. Thank you so much to my wonderful hairdresser, Michael Hovey, for rearranging his schedule yesterday to fit me in. He's been doing my hair for almost 20 years and I consider him a good friend. I'll have to get pics of me pre-treatment and post them.
So - another good day so far. Chemo class this afternoon and probably a stop at Dillard's for some makeup.
I had a wonderful conversation with the Dr Monday evening. He is so wonderful - Dr Whisenant. Anyway, I had called about a Phase 3 trial going on up at Huntsman Cancer Institute to find out if I should be part of that or not and it turns out it isn't the right trial for me. But....Dr. W. said they just ended a trial last year that seemed to work at least as well as the conventional treatment if not better. At least, it worked better in the 5 patients they treated with it. I like it!
The difference in the treatments is the chemo. In the conventional treatment I would have chemo M-F the first week and then again 4 weeks later. In the NEW treatment, I have 24/7 chemo for all 6 weeks in lower doses which reduces the side effects. I'm all for reducing the side effects. So --- while I'm sure it still won't be easy, I'm looking forward to not having violent side effects.
I found out what a 'picc' line is yesterday and it about sent me into orbit. Okay, it did send me into orbit. I thought it was just a really cool, long-term IV. OH NO! It's a deep vein IV that threads to an artery near the heart! I about passed out! It's funny the things that send us over the edge. You'd think I'd be more freaked out about the chemo and radiation and not the IV.
I'm liking my short hair cut and I got the blonde put back in it last night. Thank you so much to my wonderful hairdresser, Michael Hovey, for rearranging his schedule yesterday to fit me in. He's been doing my hair for almost 20 years and I consider him a good friend. I'll have to get pics of me pre-treatment and post them.
So - another good day so far. Chemo class this afternoon and probably a stop at Dillard's for some makeup.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
It's a Good Day!
I thought I'd post on a good day as often as I can.
Today was a good day - actually a great day - because I got to spend the whole day with Ken. Everything looks brighter when I'm with Ken - whether we're home in Utah or elsewhere. I will look forward to every weekend while I go through all of this because I know that no matter how the week has been, good or bad, it will just be better when Ken is home on the weekend!
I had an interesting experience at the grocery store this evening. I had to run out to get a couple of things that I had forgotten and I realized how anonymous I was at the grocery store and how no one there knew what trial I was getting ready to face. No one told me they were sorry or asked how I was. Here's the interesting part....I began to wonder how many of those other people that I didn't know were going through something traumatic in their lives? I wondered how many people in that store needed sympathy or empathy or a caring word? I don't know how you know by looking at a total stronger in the frozen foods....but perhaps we could all take just a second and wonder what trial others are going through....because we all have to have something. No one gets through this life without trials....
I have been very blessed with wonderful friends. I had a great talk with our realtor who is a dear friend of ours and knows of what she speaks when it comes to cancer. She gave me such terrific advice on dealing with cancer and treatments and told me her stories that gave me such hope and courage. Thank you, Joyce!
I'm looking forward to another great day tomorrow.
Today was a good day - actually a great day - because I got to spend the whole day with Ken. Everything looks brighter when I'm with Ken - whether we're home in Utah or elsewhere. I will look forward to every weekend while I go through all of this because I know that no matter how the week has been, good or bad, it will just be better when Ken is home on the weekend!
I had an interesting experience at the grocery store this evening. I had to run out to get a couple of things that I had forgotten and I realized how anonymous I was at the grocery store and how no one there knew what trial I was getting ready to face. No one told me they were sorry or asked how I was. Here's the interesting part....I began to wonder how many of those other people that I didn't know were going through something traumatic in their lives? I wondered how many people in that store needed sympathy or empathy or a caring word? I don't know how you know by looking at a total stronger in the frozen foods....but perhaps we could all take just a second and wonder what trial others are going through....because we all have to have something. No one gets through this life without trials....
I have been very blessed with wonderful friends. I had a great talk with our realtor who is a dear friend of ours and knows of what she speaks when it comes to cancer. She gave me such terrific advice on dealing with cancer and treatments and told me her stories that gave me such hope and courage. Thank you, Joyce!
I'm looking forward to another great day tomorrow.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Good Food & Good Friends
It's Friday morning and I'm feeling fantastic! Ken is home, which always helps, and the day is bright and sunny.
I had a WONDERFUL time with my friends last night at Royal India. It's wonderful to have friends who have been your friends for almost 20 years. We ate great food, talked, and laughed our butts off! I really needed that. We have had some great times over the years....and here's to lots more to come! Thanks to Elaine, Ann, Jo Ann, Sylvia and Clint. (They wanted to see their names in my blog!)
Had a great appt with the Oncologist yesterday. We now have a game plan....a tough game plan....but a plan all the same. I function WAY better when there is a plan. I have 5-6 weeks of radiation (M-F) with the 1st and the 4th weeks involving chemo therapy. Dr. says that once that 2nd round of chemo kicks in it is going to be really rough going for 2-4 weeks. After all of that, then I recover for 2-6 weeks (or whatever I need) so that I can have surgery. So....it sounds like there won't be much partying at the Byington house this year. Well - folks can party as long as I don't have to do anything!!!
Radiation begins 9/1 so I have a week to kind of relax. I have to meet with the radiation oncologist to get my tattoos to they know where to do all the radiation and stuff. That seems to be all for next week.
So glad it's the weekend and my sweetie is home with me. So grateful for the plan that is in place. Like Ken says - the worst thing we can do is nothing. I'm not looking forward to this process - but I'd rather live to tell about it.
I had a WONDERFUL time with my friends last night at Royal India. It's wonderful to have friends who have been your friends for almost 20 years. We ate great food, talked, and laughed our butts off! I really needed that. We have had some great times over the years....and here's to lots more to come! Thanks to Elaine, Ann, Jo Ann, Sylvia and Clint. (They wanted to see their names in my blog!)
Had a great appt with the Oncologist yesterday. We now have a game plan....a tough game plan....but a plan all the same. I function WAY better when there is a plan. I have 5-6 weeks of radiation (M-F) with the 1st and the 4th weeks involving chemo therapy. Dr. says that once that 2nd round of chemo kicks in it is going to be really rough going for 2-4 weeks. After all of that, then I recover for 2-6 weeks (or whatever I need) so that I can have surgery. So....it sounds like there won't be much partying at the Byington house this year. Well - folks can party as long as I don't have to do anything!!!
Radiation begins 9/1 so I have a week to kind of relax. I have to meet with the radiation oncologist to get my tattoos to they know where to do all the radiation and stuff. That seems to be all for next week.
So glad it's the weekend and my sweetie is home with me. So grateful for the plan that is in place. Like Ken says - the worst thing we can do is nothing. I'm not looking forward to this process - but I'd rather live to tell about it.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Finding Out
It has been almost 2 weeks since I found out that I have a mass in my esophagus. I expected that the dr would find that my esophagus was inflamed and put a balloon down there and open it all up and I'd be just fine. Instead I woke up to the news that I could potentially have cancer.
It has been a week since I found out that I do have cancer.
It has been a roller coaster ever since.
I have good days and bad days; brave days and scared days; days when I'm terrified to lose my hair and days when I'm looking forward to a new head of hair. It is en experience in losing a good deal of control and of contrasts.
I meet with the oncologist this afternoon so I'll know more about my treatment....but at this point it seems that I will be going through 6-8 weeks of chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor so that they can remove it with a minimum of impact to my esophagus and stomach.
I am SO looking forward to dinner with friends tonite at Royal India. We haven't had Indian food for a long time...and I don't know when I'll get Indian again once all this starts.
I am so grateful for all of my friends and family who have been such bastians of hope and positive thoughts so far. I am always grateful for any and all prayers as I'm sure I will need all the help I can get through this difficult time.
I have had a couple of great pieces of advice since this all started.
First was from Mike Lea at NREL in Golden, CO. He told me that when I begin having bad or sad thoughts that I should just hit escape, escape and start with a new set of thoughts. Us computer people totally understand that! Thank you, Mike.
My Brother-in-Law, Daryl, told me to just make lemonade no matter what happens. His wife is a breast cancer survivor so he knows what he's talking about.
My friend Cynthia Griffin, a breast cancer survivor, has been a great resource of information, insight and support.
I am terrified and hopeful at the same time. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who is like a rock and tells me it will all be okay and knows just how to hold me and make me feel terrific. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the hope it brings to my life.
It has been a week since I found out that I do have cancer.
It has been a roller coaster ever since.
I have good days and bad days; brave days and scared days; days when I'm terrified to lose my hair and days when I'm looking forward to a new head of hair. It is en experience in losing a good deal of control and of contrasts.
I meet with the oncologist this afternoon so I'll know more about my treatment....but at this point it seems that I will be going through 6-8 weeks of chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor so that they can remove it with a minimum of impact to my esophagus and stomach.
I am SO looking forward to dinner with friends tonite at Royal India. We haven't had Indian food for a long time...and I don't know when I'll get Indian again once all this starts.
I am so grateful for all of my friends and family who have been such bastians of hope and positive thoughts so far. I am always grateful for any and all prayers as I'm sure I will need all the help I can get through this difficult time.
I have had a couple of great pieces of advice since this all started.
First was from Mike Lea at NREL in Golden, CO. He told me that when I begin having bad or sad thoughts that I should just hit escape, escape and start with a new set of thoughts. Us computer people totally understand that! Thank you, Mike.
My Brother-in-Law, Daryl, told me to just make lemonade no matter what happens. His wife is a breast cancer survivor so he knows what he's talking about.
My friend Cynthia Griffin, a breast cancer survivor, has been a great resource of information, insight and support.
I am terrified and hopeful at the same time. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who is like a rock and tells me it will all be okay and knows just how to hold me and make me feel terrific. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the hope it brings to my life.
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